Proposal defense preparations
Let's see... My defense was last Tuesday, but as many of you know, getting to these next stage has been more than one year in the works. Some people get to their proposal defense by their 3rd year (ahem, most organized and put together classmate Lauren) and for others, like me, I completed it at the end of my 5th. We could call me a late bloomer, or that I've had a lot of mental hurdles to surpass before this academic one. This is all to say that this milestone has been one of the most significant in my academic tenure.
I was feeling anxious but good and on track a few months before the date. I finalized the 3 proposal pieces (each 20+ pages), sent them off to the committee with the requisite 2 weeks' review time, had my presentation ready to go with comments from my committee member, Kavita, during a dry run one week prior to the defense date. I thought I was in good condition, though definitely needed to review my methods and establish stronger justifications for some of the statistical choices I suggested. I felt good when I sent a finalized draft of the presentation to my advisor, but then I got an email from him telling me I needed to add descriptive statistics (bottom line: more work, more slides to add 2 days before the defense, gahhh! There are other reasons as to why I thought I wouldn't need them, but this discussion is elaborate enough)! Sunday night to Tuesday, I barely slept as I worked to add the descriptive stats slides and extras in anticipation for the types of questions I thought I would receive. The last push to this "end" was frantic, with literally 0 sleep Monday night and before I presented to the committee at 10 am on Tuesday.
The proposal defense
People ask me how it went, but how does any academic defense go? The purpose of it is to have the student justify any/every choice they make - from the significance of the research question, its contribution to the literature, the data available to support the research question, the feasibility of statistical analysis, the appropriateness of methods, etc etc... Everything is open for question. It is, in essence, a grilling. For 2-3 hours.
I came prepared. I had 26 slides on my proposal, 3 slides with discussion questions (my attempt to lead the discussion so it wouldn't be a free for all), and 19 "anticipatory" slides. But, my committee asked some hard questions. Some of which, I really should have known the answers to, some of which I knew were weak spots, but I tried to defend as best as possible. They asked some questions I didn't feel I adequately answered, though I tried. I spent 1.5 hours soliciting their advice and responding to their inquiries.
I don't know what a bad proposal defense looks like, because they're closed only to the student and the committee. But when they asked me step out for the standard committee discussion about whether the student passes, I was nervous. I wasn't positive I would pass. Fortunately, I did, and they said I did fine. The consensus was that I overcomplicated the process. One of my committee members said the research questions and many methods I proposed to examine could produce 5 papers instead of the minimum 3. Keep it simple (stupid), is what they were saying. Ha.
Running community
With the defense done, I snuck a 3 hour nap/sleep in before heading to the track for an interval workout. After, I rushed over to Venable Bistro for Caitlin's goodbye dinner with Amy and a group of her friends (don't leave us, Caitlin!). Then, it was onto packing and running errands until my celebratory Wed night dinner with friends, a pre-flight tempo workout at 5 am (ugh) on Thursday, and then my flight into Boston (fraught with 4.5 hour delays, courtesy of Jetblue, growl), whew!
In all this madness, running's filled the gaps between stressing over school - sometimes by being a source of support (my Crayola/Tankers joining me for my grueling Tuesday intervals when I needed to continue training for the marathon, insisting on a celebration the night before I left) and sometimes, wearing me down and worrying me deeply (will I make the goal?, marathon training and dissertating - they compete for the same well of energy and there wasn't always enough for both tasks). I think of all the people who have inspired me with their encouragement and support and I know how much they helped me through this tough time.
Ragnar Cape Cod with #Flockyoulikeahurricane!
With my school stuff over for now, my first big event was my first Ragnar relay in the Cape! Oh gosh, how to describe this amazing experience? I feel like one big ball of happiness and it's hard to disentangle exactly how and why I'm feeling this way. It was like coming off a high - I was so sad on Sunday when I realized it was really over.
Our group was extremely well-organized. We benefited from having the most some kickass logistics planners and locals as teammates. They organized, planned, and solicited sponsors 9 months prior and then navigated those sleepless 29 hours through the Cape (Stacey, Kelly, Melissa, Rebecca, Jessie, Shaun - you know what you did!). Really, the race was so much smoother because of them.
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| Meeting teammates at our Thursday night pre-race dinner! Photo courtesy of Stacey |
Together, the 12 of us runners + Stacey team captain/driver & Shaun best husband ever/driver ran, drove, and cheered our way through 191.3 miles all along the coast. Van 2 had a late start - we were required to get to the race at 1:30 pm while Van 1 began at 10 am. We watched Van 1 / Runner 1 Ali take off through social media while we were in our PJs, feeling disconnected from the reality that we were beginning Ragnar, haha. Sloth mode for the win. Of course, we got our act together and arrived at Duxbury in good time to see Melissa come in strong and hand off to Lindsay.
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| Photo by Stacey |
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| Lindsay, road warrior. Photo cred: Stacey |
It's been awhile since I've run for anyone but myself. The team aspect of Ragnar is one of the most rewarding - it was probably the greatest motivating factor for me. Watching the way Lindsay valiantly tackled her hills and challenge other runners set the bar high. From there, I knew I wanted to be as excellent as I could be, for our team.
My first leg was the longest, 12.8 miles with a generous slathering of hills. In my excitement before Jess came through the exchange, I decided on a last minute porta potty trip and would forget to set my GPS watch. Doh! That mistake made the leg all the more painful as my watch couldn't locate me well into the run, I didn't manage my pace, and felt like I went out too fast over the first hill (2 miles in, haha, I'm a noob).
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| Smiles. Clearly, I have no idea what I'm in for. Photo cred: Lindsay |
The rest of the leg was tough. There were times I actually felt like stopping and asking my team to sub me out (but then had to talk myself out of it - do it for the team, Carolyn!), my legs seemed to burn on each little bump in the road - never mind the final hill to the end, where I actually cramped up so badly I thought I needed to walk. It was not pretty and I was a lone running grumpface (few runners to be found - net of 0 kills - 2 roadkills minus 2 roadkilleds), but my van cheered me on at least 4 times and it helped me so much.
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| Danielle captures the grumpface in action. |
After the final hill, I managed to feel better and catch a better stride. My spirits improved when I saw a flashing red light (runner/potential road kill up ahead!) and I vowed to chase it down till the end. But before I knew it, the light disappeared, and the exchange appeared in front of me! It was over!
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| Coming through the exchange to hand off to Deb. Photo from Stacey. |
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| Scoring myself an extra medal for a wicket hahd leg. Thanks for insisting on this photo, Stacey! My brain was so fried. |
After Deb and Jessie ran their nighttime legs, we drove back to Stacey's, which was conveniently located close to our next starting point. Stacey's husband and awesome flock supporter, Gary, joked about how we would sleep and wake up before he went to bed for the night. Reflecting on the experience, we were really lucky to have the nice accommodations and 2 hours of rest. Stacey and Gary - you really pulled through for us here. <3
The second set of legs were all at all night - from midnight / 1am to 4ish? They were pretty rough for Lindsay, Danielle, and Jess. I was lucky that the rest of my legs were 3ish miles each. Despite its "easy" grade according to Ragnar, I still found it pretty tough because of the hills. But, I was proud of myself. I worked hard to catch a girl whose teammate we had been admiring because of her patterned tights and strong running form (oh the games we play to amuse ourselves during Ragnar). It was nice not to feel like I was fighting to survive the run.
You never know what you're in for when you're stuck in a van with 6 other sweaty semi-strangers who are surviving on limited sleep hours too. My vanmates were amazing - they were so spirited and hilarious. Our van stopped basically every mile or so during each leg and cheered on all runners, not just our own. I lived off their energy and their smiles throughout the race.
We ran the final legs of the race late in the morning till around 3 pm. While our route was very scenic - with some glimpses of the ocean depending on the leg - the course was still quite hilly. Jess had her most difficult 7.3 leg to go and tackled the hills with the grace of an antelope (hello 9+ roadkills!). Jessie, our final runner, had the hardest job of bringing it in strong with a 9.6 mile run but she looked strong all throughout. Way to go, ladies!
It's hard to capture all the beauty and magic of the weekend with these paltry words, but here are some moments I'll always carry with me:
- Van spirit / Never being able to recognize our runners in the dark but still inadvertently cheering them because we cheered for everyone.
- "I'll flock YOU like a hurricane!"
- "You're creeping ME."
- The spread your legs seat
- Stacey's magical photography skills, which we benefited from throughout the race!
- Speed and crack flavored Doritos
- Discovering Danielle is my vanmate twin in her snack tastes (beef jerky, Doritos)
- Jessie's fancy almond/peanut butter with strawberry/raspberry/blueberry jelly sandwiches, the finest Ragnar fare ever. Oh, and those life changing sun dried tomato bagels...
- Jess' air sax. Best air instrument ever.
- Our team theme song... and our van's actual theme song...
- Awesomest navigating team: Stacey, Jessie, Danielle (and her smartphone)
Finally, thanks to our sponsors, Oiselle, Pro Compression, Shower Pill, Energy Bits, and Mission AthleteCare for helping us fuel better, smell fresher, and recover quicker!
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| Pic by Shaun. Bottom row, L to R: Stacey, Danielle, Anne. Top row, L to R: me, Jess, Melissa, Lindsay, Jessie, Ali, Amy, Deb, Rebecca, Kelly. |
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| Pic thanks to Tom Tom! |
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| A peaceful moment after all the excitement. Photo by Stacey, of course |
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