Pre-race jitters

So a lot has happened since my last race recap and blog post!  I've made a conscious decision to blog less and cut down on social media as this is an important preparatory year. I'm trying to finish my dissertation (how many times have I said this? Well, it's for real this time!), find a job, most likely move out of the area... The ball is moving, the clock is ticking against me, the walls are caving in, my imagination is drying up... The question is, how much can I get done and how quickly can I accomplish it all?

Last semester was extremely busy and mentally taxing.  I made a huge push on my dissertation proposal and to qualify for Boston in tandem. Both worked out successfully.  Luckily, because of how long (i.e., too long) I spent prior to the semester and the level of detail I took with the proposal, my dissertation requires some additional analysis and writing, but the bulk of legwork is done.  This semester I've been busy applying to a conference, for off-campus funding, preparing a first draft of Paper 1, and there's still more work needed.  I worry about how to tie up all loose ends, so it's go time.

As I drive forward in one area of my life, I've had to reign in my running goals.  I feel a lot of tension between wanting to excel in running and needing to save my energy and efforts for work.  On one hand, there have been many wonderful moments with my running families.  I experienced so much joy at Bird Camp in August.  I loved meeting Sally, Lauren Fleshman, Little Wing, teammates.  Listening to Sally talk about each thoughtfully-made decision and the design process reinvigorated the roots of my love for Oiselle.  My NC teammates bring me so much joy - watching Andie rock out at the Sir Walter Miler, watching Christy Cazzola (from WI!) fly in and set a new course record at the Mag Mile, hanging out and being inspired by Allie, Allison, and Ellen regularly - I've loved every moment of it.  My Fleet Feet group, the Crayolas, bring me joy every week.  They are the light in my dark tunnel.  These two groups inspire me in immeasurable ways.  Because of them, I want to push towards being the best runner and community leader that I can possibly be.

On another hand, I set low running expectations for myself this fall.  I needed to tone it down for the dissertation as a primary reason, but I also desperately needed the physical-mental break.  In April and May, I was fraying at the ends trying to make both goals.  There were weekends where all I wanted to do was sleep off the constant soreness in my legs and head and that's what I did!  For two months after M2B, I barely ran (seriously - like 10 miles a week, hahaha) and it didn't help that the summer humidity and heat made each mile agonizing.  So yes, my racing goals are conservative this fall.  Even then, I am insecure about making them -  I've lost a lot of fitness in the time off and while I managed to slowly built myself up to a steady 30 mile/week minimum (my training last season hovered between this and 45 miles), the 1:40 half goal that was easily attainable 6 months ago seems daunting.  I'm not super confident in my abilities and I seem to be at ends with the pace clock.  In the end, if it doesn't come together this season, I won't be too upset as long as I put myself in good form to graduate.  Plus, there will be bigger fish to fry in Boston.  :)

Tomorrow is Bull City, my test race.  I'm not aiming for my season goal, but if I am close to where I was in March with Shamrock (it was flat whereas tomorrow'll be hills galore), I will be supremely satisfied.  We'll see how it all goes.  

Happy moments in the last 5 months:

1st week post-Marathon: Napa Valley with Nicole & Sara. Wine tasting because when you can't run, what else is there to do?

June 28. Allie's bday run.  Aka, humble running/chasing after these fasties. Pic courtesy of Allie.

Four on the Fourth. I love spectating.  Watching these ladies kill it. Allie won 1st Female Masters!

July and October Oiselle Team NC meet ups!

Deschutes 5k during Birdcamp. Oiselle invades Bend!

At the summit of Misery Trail, an aptly named hike.  Photo courtesy of Carrie, another amazing Oiselle teammate.

Sept. 9. Oiselle returns to Nolcha Fashion Week.  I want all this racing gear.

Sept 14 morning. Literally running late in the Not so Normal 5k, organized by our very own Jay. Fun run.

Sept. 14 afternoon. Only the fast and brave race the miler. Not pictured but definitely fast & fab, Ellen!

Sept. 20th. Frank's continuing adventures in the US. Fall farm festivities.

Sept 26. Boston bound. :)

Oct 2. My Crayola crew surprises me at a low moment. I love these people immensely.

Oct 4. Karate Kids.  Fall Fleet Feet training group.