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| Pre-race: Scared, but pretending to look strong |
Nonetheless, I hit the road to Wilmington, where I checked in with the room I was renting out (through Airbnb). The owner of the "Ice Palace" (very appropriately named - since there was so much white, gray, and silver and marbling throughout the house) was really nice and hospitable. I even got to meet her sweet Siberian huskies, Tessa and Lupo.
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| Lupo. Never met a dog that I wanted to kidnap and take away with me until youuuuu. Look at that TAIL, those eyes! <3 |
I waited around for awhile, doing some dynamic stretches and some static ones for my glutes, which were aching after I foolishly decided to go full out on our Tuesday speed work out. Ten minutes from the start of the race, people began to file out of the summer (club) house. The race was an entrepreneurial initiative by a race organizer who wanted to bring an end of summer Boston qualifier to the southeast (although I heard someone say he organized it because he wanted to BQ). There were only 181 runners in total, 107 marathoners and 74 10kers. We were running a 5ish mile loop around the club/residential neighborhood(?), 5 times. It seemed absurd, but the course was really nice, at least - what you could see of it during the daylight.
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| Water, lots of grass, and flatness all around. Sweet, sweet flatness. |
Right before we started, I met a girl and guy and asked them how fast they were hoping to finish. I didn't really have a plan - just a stop watch that I hoped to track my times. The guy, Matthew, was an ultra marathoner whose longest distance was a half marathon in June, but his goal was similar to mine, so I figured I would stick with him. And off we went! He and I kept a keen eye on our times and during the first loop, he managed to stick it right around a 9 min/mile. Great!
Somewhere in that time, we would interact with some runners as we passed them or kept tempo. There was one black haired woman in her 40s, who was either rude or extremely concentrated on her race, who kept running too close to other runners. At one point, I looked over and it seemed like she was trying to edge Matthew out. She acted like she was competing against us because if we were running ahead of her, she tried to pull in front of us. Matthew even tried to make friendly talk with her, but she ignored him. This woman's behavior was bewildering and a bit off-putting. I mean, c'mon! None of us were in a position to win!
In our second loop, I guess Matthew felt good and began to pull away. I wasn't sure how hard I could handle the 9 min pace (since in my training I was somewhere in the 10 min/mile pace - but with terrible humidity), so I let myself go steadily and didn't push myself to catch him. Eventually, he fell out of sight... And it was myself and a slim, gazelle-ish 50 year old man with great cadence. We followed and left each other behind, but throughout my 2nd to 4th laps, I kept seeing him catch me, pass me, and then I'd catch him again. It was nice to see a friendly face, since we were mostly running in dimly lit paved pathways and there were many times I felt alone along the course. Spectators and aid stations were positioned every couple of miles, but the course felt much longer, with its windy loops that prevented you from ever figuring out if you were actually "cutting them" or just positioning yourself on the outside on the next turn.
Most of the race was a blur, but I do remember feeling really good in the 2nd loop. I remember keeping pace decently - though maybe slipping behind by 30 seconds. The third loop got tougher and the lactic acids began to build up in my legs. I mentally dealt with it, though, and I thought of all the people who had supported me throughout. I thought of all my family, my best friends, my Crayolas - every face I loved - and imagined they were along the course, cheering me on. I even imagined the bf was there to goad me and tell me not to stop or slow down. I imagined he was on his bike like during the Tufts 10k and it made me smile. Why is it that even in my head that he has to see me struggle through races?
The fourth loop was the toughest, as to be expected for me. By then, the spectators were thinning out, or just stopped noticing as much. This was mile 15-20, the section that I knew I had a hard time with mentally. It's also the notorious part of the race associated with "hitting the wall." It was tough - I did let myself go a little bit and slowed down to conserve energy. Maybe this is where I began to lose time. I'm not really sure... Interestingly enough, I saw Matthew catch up to me from behind. You're lapping me! I exclaimed. It turns out, he wasn't. He had hit a wall and somewhere along the way, my slow and steady self passed him. He had to walk again and told me he would meet me at the finish line. I nodded and continued on my way.
The last loop was great because it was the last loop! I just had to push myself! But approaching mile 24, I noted the time - and it wasn't looking good. I had 16 some minutes to make the last 2.2 miles by my goal time of 4 hours. I tried to speed up and prepare myself for a surge. The race was confusing, though... As I hit the last 2 miles, I tried asking people and cheerers along the path where the finish line was positioned. It wasn't immediately clear to me, given the windiness of the loops. I think part of my frustration grew from wanting to be done with it, but another part was because I couldn't calculate how fast I should push myself in the end when I didn't know how much farther I had to go. Even the turn-off to the finish (which, heaven forbid you miss it - because then you'd be stuck doing another 5 miles, ugh!) was marked only by a sign with an arrow. It should have said "Finish" or something!
At this point, I began racing with a girl, Anna Maria. I saw her ahead of me, losing momentum, and I began to pass her until my frustrated questions jolted her back to life (that's what she told me I later saw her). I was ready to speed past her but just lost my ability to surge to the end thanks to feeling lost, confused, and frustrated. She sped up and put a 40 meter gap between us - talk about a surge at the end! There was no way I could catch her. The last mile was a straight away and then it curved around the summer house. It felt like an eternity away... and as I looked over at the inflatable start/finish arch, my heart sank when I saw the time - 4:03 - and rapidly increasing. I crossed the finish at 4:04:18.
I felt pretty physically and mentally broken at the end. It hurt so badly - I couldn't walk without limping - I gave it my all - and that was it. I didn't even make my minimum goal. Pitifully, I hobbled back to my car, feeling cold and alone. The physical pain and failure to meet my minimum goals upset me so much that I began to cry as I changed out of my shoes and shirt. Then, I hobbled back to the summer house to grab some food and chat up some of the other runners. By the time I left the race, it was late - about 12:45 am. The drive back was exhausting...
After all of this, I realize that I did put in a good effort, but I need to ramp it up to make my goals. I need to keep running the long runs and getting myself accustomed to running consistently hard over longer paces. There's a part of me that is not certain I can get to my goals with the training program pace I've been assigned to mentor... I'm not sure what to do about that - I'll try to push myself a little more during our speed workouts and after this season, I'll probably have to amp it up on my long runs.
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| Post race, summoning smiles thanks to pep texts from friends. Thanks to Nicole and Garima, for helping me see the bright side. |
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| Race swag. Not too bad for $50 (early registration) |
Race Results: 4:04:18
Average mile: 9:20
Overall: 66/107
AG: 7th (but such a small race, the numbers were really small when divided like this... There were only 35 women total)
Inspiration: "Running has thrown me into adventures I would have otherwise missed." - Benjamin Cheever
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